Madame George,

Let me crank up the heat a little. Take off the macrame, put down the "Better Homes and Gardens" mag, and relax. Allow me to explain why "I'm Down" rules.

Let's go back 15 years or so ago. I was playing with Mother‘s Sugar, having a whale of a time. Making music was fun and all, but what I really enjoyed most were the band meals before the practices, at our drummer Bobbie Helper’s rowhouse, near the train station. We'd sit around, eat pizza, and MERCILESSLY MAKE FUN OF EVERY SINGLE BAND IN THE TRI-STATE AREA. Guy Parmesano was the ringleader and an especially good one at that, vicious to an extreme. He was of the opinion that no one could touch us*. If you agreed with his assessment and were willing to belittle others to prove that you supported his belief, he was more than happy to grant you a tad more input at the rehearsal. Needless to say, I enjoyed all this, probably because I agreed with his assessment (it was true as far as the songwriting was concerned). That belief made it easy for me to make fun of others and enjoy the full fruits of commiserating with Guy. Dave Plum, who was also in the band, believed it too. He didn't need any convincing. As far as Bobbie concerned, he signed on as well with not a whole lot of convincing. We were unified, MAN! And it was truly great!

One fairly successful local entertainer (it always irked Guy that we always had a fan base of five -two especially hot chicks, a lawyer, Bobbie Helper‘s mother, and Jim's brother) was picked on more than anyone else for both his bad looking do and his ability to write numerous unmelodic and unmemorable songs by shuffling cowboy chords and allowing his bass player, who was a dead ringer for Ned Beatty, to drive home the unmemorable changes by his "rude note only" approach.

One Mother’s Sugar member was especially talented mimicing the local star's act, which probably explains why rehearsals usually kicked off with that particular member's numbers.

All this leads me to the recording session for "I'm Down". From what I've read, McCartney really gave it to Jagger good at that session, and the other Beatles were more than willing to egg him on. "Plastic Soul" were the words he used to describe Jagger's act. And you know what? I agree with him. Don't get me wrong. Nobody, not even Plum, loves the Stones more than I do. Because of that love, I feel I'm entitled to make fun of them, and especially Jagger, as much as I want. Ever watch that old footage of Jagger, especially when he knows his band is finally knocking 'em dead, in '65? His arrogance has turned him into an absolute clown. His moves, stolen from Tina Turner, the Ronettes, and James Brown, aren't any more than a parody of what Henry Renzell could probably do after a promotional size helping of Fun Dip. And all those "izzzz alrighhhh. . . .izzz alrigh" inbetweeners are about as sincere as my "highest prices paid for old records" ads. The idea that the Beatles were united, giggling about Jagger, just thrills me to no end. To think that "I'm Down" was recorded by the Beatles in that unified state of mind makes it all that much more thrilling.

I'm probably alone here (what else is new!), but it's my belief that McCartney saw this as his opportunity to out Jagger Jagger: "You want black? I'll give you your brand of black, but I'll do it better. You want bad boy rock 'n' roll? Again, no problem, but beware 'cause me and my buddies, who think you're a bozo, will do it WAY better than you because we're hands down much better players. And here's the kicker, we'll crank it out in two takes and slap it on the B side of "Help" to show what we think of your whole megaderivative act. BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as the songwriting is concerned, there's really nothing special going on, and yeah, once again, it's another McCartney rocker that doesn't make a whole lot of lyrical sense. And you know what? WHO CARES? IT'S ROCK AND ROLL, YOU NINCOMPOOPS! "Louie, Louie" doesn't make any sense either, and it's one of the all time great pop masterpieces. Take the beans out of your ears, you macrame wearin', Better Homes and Gardens, calorie countin' pansies! When I was about 16, my ma grounded me for skipping school, which meant I wasn't allowed to go out dancing with my buddies. So you know what I did? I picked up one end of our kitchen picnic table (we had a big gang),swung it as hard as I could into the wall that divided the kitchen and the living room, and created a hole about as big as a hula hoop. Know why I did that? 'Cause I was out of control, and I had the patience of a ferret on a coffee I.V. Was it a logical reaction to what I regarded as an unjust punishment? Absolutely not! Did I feel good after I did it? You bet! "I'm Down" is cut from that same
psychological musical cloth. It is impossible to fully comprehend it as a man of 40 with multiple responsibilities.

And as far as the charge of “I’m Down” being a backward step for the Beatles is concerned, it is once again a criticism by someone who understands the song about as much as my neighbor across the street who thinks I'm a hypocrite because I won't give Bush II the thumbs up for his "multicultural" cabinet.

When "I'm Down" was released, the "I Need to Be Placed in a Mental Institution" single was indeed an entity, but it was always performed by some crew who had passable at best chops and couldn't be expected to make any measurable progress. The difference here is that the playing is exceptional. Nothing's better than an "I'm messed up beyond belief" workout by talented players ("Manic Depression" comes to mind immediately) working in a time/pop song structure that threatens to overpower the release or message. And I may be wrong here, but it might be a Beatle first for the juxtaposition of the negative (words)and the positive (upbeat band). Guy says this never works.
Wrong again. Wanna know the truth? It ALWAYS works. Gotta love that scene in "Roger and Me" when the camera's zooming past all those broken down houses in Flint, Michigan while "Wouldn't It Be Nice" isplaying in the background. If that scene doesn't work, I don't know what does.

So "I'm Down", slapped on the "B" side of "Help"(seemingly like an afterthought), is pretty progressive stuff for a pop band. Maybe it should have been the other way around. Thematically, it would have made a lot of sense, which leads me to my last observation.

I originally heard the thing on one of those orange and yellow swirl labeled Capitol 45s. Used to get tons of ’em at the Tally Mart. It's been a long time, but I really do recall the day I finally flipped that single over to listen to the B side. Honestly, it scared the living daylights out of me. I thought McCartney had really gone insane. The Stones were the Stones. You didn't expect them to change because, truth be told, they just weren't capable of anything different. "I'm Down" clued me into the fact that one never knew what to expect from the Beatles. Pretty powerful stuff for an out of control brat!

Better put the macrame back on, George. It's getting cold outside.

Your friend,
E. Pluribus

*Oh, and one more thing. If Guy’s not involved in your project, it
automatically stinks.